I do not know where to begin.

The past week and a half has been so spiritually challenging for me, filled with a cycle of anxiousness and worry and joy and peace and more worry...and hours and hours of prayer. No one would have guessed. 

Because I was away the previous weekend, I did not know that the mid-year prayer & fasting was set for July 19 to 22. A pretty short period compared to the fasting at the beginning of the year, but when one is not spiritually prepared, one should be advised not to take part in it. So I did not take part in it, but promised myself, my accountability group, and God (of course) that I would make up for it the following week (24 to 30) because I knew I had to as my list of prayer items were piling up, and some of them were pretty serious. I also wanted to take the time to pray, intentionally, for friends and family. 

I'm not going to go delve into each prayer item and the tiniest of details, but God has been very clear with me that week: He wants me to ask. We are to seek His will, always, yes, but He also delights in prayers when we ask Him for specific things. (This also reminded me of Third's message during Morning Light about prayer, that we should pray expectantly, according to His will.) Though I make requests in my prayers, I tend to feel embarrassed with asking God to grant them to me because it always feels like He's given me (and continually give me) more than I ever ask for. This results in me having a "go with the flow" attitude, like, I know You hear me, Lord, but whether the outcome is favorable or not, help me accept it. In this manner, it's almost as if I'm expecting the worst or worse, limiting God's capacity to make things happen or to answer my prayers with a big YES.

So when my devo, after contemplating AND trying not to complicate things, reminded me that I should simply ask, I did. (The actual verse that came up was Matthew 29:9 - Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you”. I was hesitant at first, because I didn't want to resort to the Lord as a "genie in a bottle. But in my devos, this particular verse and the latter part of James 4:2 ("You do not have because you do not ask.") appeared more than once. In just one week! 

And so, with a deep sigh, I prayed and I asked for things that I wanted. I asked that God grant me this and that, only if it would help me glorify Him more. And He answered my prayers with more than I asked for. How amazing God truly is! How amazing that I clearly heard His voice during my prayer and fasting. It felt like, for the first time in a very long time, my heart was truly attuned to Him in those two weeks.

One of the many prayers I laid down at His feet was a visa grant for my upcoming birthday trip to South Korea. I only prayed for a visa, but God did not stop there. He provided my Korean visa PLUS a place to stay, for free! When God calls you His child, expect to be spoiled in the most unexpected ways. So, thank You, Jesus, for this amazing birthday present. May I glorify Your name all the days of my life! ♡