It's both liberating and painful.

Sometimes it feels like getting out of an abusive relationship, when I'm being meticulous about it. The amount of control is unnerving. It felt like I was cast under a spell, every single motion dictated by my puppeteer. Yet, I failed to see that despite people pulling me out of my hazy world. 

Because it came to a point wherein strings were no longer needed to direct my actions; I merely succumbed out of my own will. And then it became an addiction.