Doctors say I’m the illest

Cause I’m suffering from realness

Kanye West

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One of my goals for the month of November is to be more sociable. (Though trust me; at the back of my mind, I would still much rather prefer to stay at home, buried in a book. Or sleeping.) But I need to get out there -- again!

I think I'm sociable enough in the workplace, but there are very rare occasions wherein being sociable feels  more like an obligation. Perhaps this only happens when I feel overworked or when I'm in a sickly state. But yes, ever since I became what I am now (position-wise), I'm confident to say that I have become more of a people person. And I honestly like it; I'm enjoying it for the most part. Yet again, I feel like I've crawled out of my shell. In the past, I would just sit in my "safe spot", whereas now, I am actually more "out there". 

We're not just talking about work either. For a few months, I was really involved in the Singles Ministry at church as well and honestly, that was a really big step for me. (I haven't really been involved in ministry work since college.) But that only lasted for a few months because I grew to be physically exhausted; it felt like I was working six days a week. That's really the main reason why I couldn't commit; I felt like I didn't get enough rest especially at a time where a stronger stamina was required of me in the workplace. 

I realized this when I was talking to Jy last night. I told him work pretty much got a hold of me and instead of socializing or doing ministry work, I would prefer to stay at home and rest on weekends. Sleep. Relax. Watch stuff on the computer. Be on the Internet for hours on end. There were times, honestly, wherein I would sleep an entire Saturday or Sunday off. When I've adjusted better, I just preferred the quiet at home or the company of my books. In fact, I haven't gone on a Thursday Night Out (because we don't do the "Friday Night" thing) with my friends in a really, really long time. 

But I need to try better to participate in life. I'm reminded of a line from The Perks Of Being A Wallflower: "Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life." I spend too much time with my own thoughts or in a world outside mine, in books. That's what life has been like for me in the past several months. It's November and something needs to change. 

So now I will make it a point to go out a little more. (And I'm not talking about just going out with my parents, either! Ha! Or going out to sit in a coffee shop for hours on end, alone. With a book and a notebook and my thoughts. None of that. Maybe. I hope.) 

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