Yes.

Yes.

And yes.

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I felt much like a conqueror yesterday morning. I was about to have another bout of extreme adventures (insanity), but I was able to fight against it, refusing to go where I was tempted to go. Haha! I'm really proud of myself for turning down the offer. In the end, I realized that my imagination proved to be more appealing than the reality before my eyes. But I guess that's how it is when things "get old". Kind of like worn out toys; they become old and too used up that you no longer find them appealing enough to actually want to play with them. (So you set out to buy new toys elsewhere.) That is exactly how it felt like this morning.

I didn't catch on at first because I felt that I really wanted it badly, but when I had an epiphany (after saying no), it all made sense. This Filipino term describes exactly how I felt yesterday: nahimasmasan. I spoke to Aizel about it when we met, of course, and she said the major changes must have triggered such emotions. The alterations are so hard to conceal that it suppresses the supposedly positive emotions I would have otherwise felt, as I have, so familiarly, in the past. Major changes have definitely come around and I couldn't be any more pleased. Because letting go of things that have been worn out or things that do not matter in my present as well as my future would be a lot easier.

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I wish, sometimes, that I could delete some scenes etched in my memories, just like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Then I wouldn't have to have these internal battles.