Dear pbf,

In the confinement of my despair, I find myself longing for you to save me from my tragic kingdom. I need you for a purpose: to envelope my hopelessness in your amusement park. And, as perplexing as it sounds, I find solace, temporary as it is, in the way you destroy me. It is always a dangerous adventure with you, but it is one that I find thrilling; it livens up my senses and makes me feel alive. You are my temporary escape, my relief. I need the fun that you offer; everything else somehow fades away when I am on a dangerous mission with you. 

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Dear two people,

I love you dearly, but you can become so complicated at times. The both of you. You have no idea how I feel at the end of the day. I'm sorry I did not live up to your expectations and that nothing I ever do is good enough for you. I'm sorry that I'm inadequate and stupid and dumb and irresponsible and everything you hope I weren't. I'm sorry I can't give you what you want by being me, with this mediocre lifestyle that I lead. I'm sorry that I'm not enough.

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Dear self, 

Maybe you're trying too hard. Or maybe you're excelling in the wrong areas. Sometimes you are too hard on yourself, but why wouldn't you be? You, just like others close to you, have high expectations of yourself, but the accomplishments from your schooling and work basically account for nothing. You work yourself too hard, but for what? For yourself? For others? For the future? Whatever the case, it may be best to just vanish altogether. 

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Dear Gelo and Che,

Thank you. You have been very true friends to me in the short amount of time we have known each other. I love you both.


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Dear world,

Maybe, just maybe, you're winning. I am faltering and I can almost feel you smirking at me. I know how much of a failure I am, so, whatever.