I'm being restless again tonight. I really don't like feeling this way. I try to keep my thoughts at peace, and I  believe I was doing really well on the ride home in Karl's car. Haha. We were speaking in really silly accents and we were all just laughing and talking at the same time.

But once I am alone with my thoughts, I succumb to restlessness.

I was talking to Che earlier and I told her (yes, I told her) I shouldn't even be worrying about what's to come. Le sigh. I can't help being such an over-thinker sometimes; I really have to do something about this. I need to be able to divert my thoughts in a more immediate manner, especially when I'm alone. I think too much and that is a fact.

Anyway, I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't know what I want (to happen), but I know for sure that I want what God wants. Does that make sense? Because it does, to me. Hehe. I have totally surrendered the decision to God because when He makes decisions, I know they're what's best for me. In the midst of my anxiety, I often forget this. I was reading a blog entry from Cory Copeland's page and I was simply reminded that He is at work, always at work in our lives. I think, because of this current event in my life (hehe), I am able to practice full surrender. I do my best and God takes care of the rest. :)

I am not, never was, and never will be in control. He was, is, and will always be in total control of my life. Isn't that beautiful? :) I admit, I need to live up to this more, to just stop trying to get hold of the steering wheel. But anyway, really, this is one of the first few times that I can honestly say that I am, in no way, expecting anything. I'm pretty sure I've learned, more than once before in my past experiences, that expectations almost always lead to disappointments.

I don't even know what I'm particularly anxious about, actually. Hahahahaha! I just...can't stand the suspense of it all. I guess I'm just generally yearning for the band-aid effect: the quicker you pull it off from your skin, the less torturous the pain of peeling the sticky substance. You just do a quick yelp and it's over. Hahaha. 

My goodness, I think I have gone mad. O_o

But hey, at least the worry is gradually dissipating. Ever so gradual.

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Okay, here's one thing I really, really, really want to happen: to hang out with my friends at a far-away place for a day. Or two. 

Summer is pretty much over and I still haven't done anything particularly summer-y, except sweat like crazy after having just gone out of the shower. Haha! 

The monsoon season is slowly creeping in and I couldn't be happier! (But I'm afraid it might ruin "the planned weekend" that is to come. Hmmm. If that happens...poor swimsuits. Hehe.)

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Well, it's Thursday! The weekend is just around the corner, yay! =)