There comes a time in one's life when one asks oneself, "What am I doing here?"

Je suis perdu maintenant. Encore. Et je ne sais pas pourquoi c'est comme ça. 

“I’m lost! I’m scared! I feel like I’m disappearing! MY SKIN’S COMING OFF! I’M GETTING OLD! Nothing makes any sense to me! NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE!”

Clementine
(Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

---

Perhaps I am merely in my unhealthy phase again, where idle moments are spent over-analyzing and over-thinking trivial issues that do not deserve any attention at all. Sometimes I think I care too much about everything and everyone connected to me. I care too much for others that I end up putting myself, my needs aside. 

I was doing so well, focusing on the right things these past couple of months. But it, whatever it is, has a way of crawling up my skin and paralyzing me in my tracks. The next thing you know, I'm standing in the middle of everywhere and nowhere at the same time, unable to fathom the life around me. And just like that, faster than you can blink your eye, I am disconnected. I look around me and listen to the voices that speak; I know each of them but I have extricated my being from the people. And once more, I long for nothing but to just be in the company of my thoughts. 

Yet even words fail me.

I search for silence, but the questions in my head grow louder and louder.

Je suis perdu dans mes pensées. Et je veux aller loin d'ici.