I need You, Jesus

To come to my rescue

Where else can I go?

There’s no other name by

Which I am saved

Capture me with grace

I will follow You

This world has nothing for me

I will follow You

---

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This song honestly just speaks to me in volumes. Every single day, I know that I am in dire need of Jesus Christ to rescue me from the fallen world, from myself. I was reading through one of my devotionals a week ago and in the book it said that the bigger enemy is our flesh; that Satan can tempt us, but we decide to sin. Ultimately, the flesh must be battled daily, even momentarily (Patrick Morley, Walking With Christ in the Details of Life).

It is absolutely true. While God knows what will happen, being His omnipresent self, we still have the freedom to choose to sin or not. I battle with myself day in and day out and it really is tough. Some people expect Christians or followers of Christ to be well-behaved and righteous, but of course, when you read the Bible you would know that  "There is no one righteous, not even one." (Romans 3:10) On the other hand, I'm not out to please some people. I'm here to please God, my Father. But do I even do that?

No. I fail Him daily and it is a real struggle. I fail Him with my sinful thoughts, my actions, my disobedience towards Him; I fail Him in so many ways, be it in a minuscule or immense manner. And the problem is, most of the time I am fully aware of my sinful thoughts or actions or words. I think I have overused the excuse "man is sinful by nature" or "I'm human and am expected to sin." God already knows these things, but I should be doing something better about it. I'm trying, but I'm probably not trying hard enough. I am ashamed and disappointed in myself, honestly.

I should be a better role model, especially for non-believers. I am, after all, the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13). I ought to be a better influence unto others as I am accountable to God, which means what I impart to others ought to be a reflection of what it is like to have a relationship with Him. But this is where I fail and struggle. I'm not aiming for perfection at all because I know that is absolutely unattainable, impossible, but I have to be a good example. It's such a big responsibility because I allow myself to be corrupted by the ways of the world. I cuss quite a lot. I think of punching people in the face. I give in to temptation. In short, I stumble. A lot. So much so that I think I confess at least five times a day and constantly ask God, "What is wrong with me?" Sometimes even I baffle my own self with my inappropriate thoughts and actions.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with a couple of friends about the supposed end of the world, as predicted by the Mayans. (Which I know is really just an end of an era and not the world. No one knows when the world will end, after all.) They were afraid of having to live through painful suffering before death, but more than that, they were unsure of where they were going after death. Anyway, they were asking my thoughts about it and what I'd felt and I boldly told them that I was not afraid of dying because I know for sure where I'll be going -- which is in Heaven to spend eternity with my Father. And somehow, I ended up sharing a bit about repentance and acceptance of Jesus Christ as savior, which is really the only requirement to be saved. He redeemed us after all. They were worried about not getting in Heaven because of their sins and I just said something like, "Hey, we're all sinners. I have had tons of sins in the past and I know I continue to sin, but you just ask for forgiveness and try to build a better relationship with Him and accept Him wholeheartedly and you'll be saved." I desire for everyone I know, especially those dear to me, to be saved. Having that "small talk" made me realize that people are either too ashamed to draw themselves near God or they just don't know how they can be saved.

Yet, here I am. A living testimony; a sinner who fails God just like any other human being. But I am assured of my destination after death; I know I am saved despite taking the wrong turns or stumbling over things I could have avoided. As it is written:

22 This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:22-24

Saved by grace even if I am not worthy to be saved. That's how much He loves us. Each time this sinks in deep, I am truly amazed with this truth. I know for sure that I have a more grateful attitude because of His lovingkindness towards me. I know He's here to help me get back up when I fall. But I don't want to take His love for granted. This is what scares me sometimes: that I might be taking His goodness for granted because I know He will never forsake me. This is why I need Jesus to rescue me. Daily. Momentarily. So that I may keep my eyes set on Him and be an instrument to bring others closer to Him.