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chrisfel eliza

I don't think I think enough.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
tuesday night thoughts.

>> Making other people happy makes me happy. When I know I've made someone feel good, a part of the happiness they feel somehow make their way into me, giving me joy.

>> It is difficult to conduct a class when there's a lump in your throat and tears are welling up behind your eyelids. Seriously, these moments always come in at the wrong time.

>> I am sad. Again. And I'm kind of resenting myself for allowing my mind to be sad. I dwell too much within my thoughts (sad thoughts, no doubt) and I don't know how to stop myself.

>> I dream too much of a good future when I know I'm not worthy of it. (Heck, I'm not even worthy of the life I currently have. So many good things and good people have been given to me, but I screw up in the end anyway. It really is incomprehensible how God blesses me with so much when I don't deserve it.)

>> I ought to stop bothering people with sharing my issues, close friends or not. (Except for Gelo, as always.) Besides, I know that other people have problems, too, and they don't need to be burdened as I add my shit onto their list. I'm being really unfair to others when I share something so depressing about myself. So I'm going to do my best to just shut up and write about it. I should really be talking more to God about my issues anyway. So there. I didn't mean to be a burden and be a downer, friends. I'll try my best to be better.

>> The one person I believe who has the capacity to take all the pain away is, unfortunately, a world away. Maybe even a lifetime away.

>> I'm afraid of dying alone, physically.

>> I feel am so fucking ugly. I don't even know why I bother to try. Every day.

>> I love how writing releases whatever emotions I have. Thank God for this.

chrisfel at 19:39