Apps just left the house. I got a phone call from her before midnight, telling me she was coming over. Of course I knew something was totally wrong and when I asked her, "Are you okay?" she immediately started crying and told me the tragic news. I was really devastated, but couldn't manage anything else but, "Oh my gosh, Apps. Oh my gosh..." 

She came around at midnight and when I got in her car, she was just in tears. I just listened to her and let her cry. She wanted to go anywhere and I just let her drive off; we ended up going to the hospital to confirm the sad news. Visiting hours were apparently over, but I managed to talk to the security guard and he let us in the hospital. (Thank you, Kuya Guard.) We went to the ICU and saw N's brother and confirmed what had happened. He and Apps talked for a few minutes. 

Even though I did not know N personally, I still felt really sad about his sudden death. I guess I was mostly sad for my friend because she had just lost someone special; just like that, N was (physically) gone forever from her life. Words are never enough to describe emotions in these situations.

I told Apps I was sorry that there was nothing I could say or do to comfort her, but that I'm just here. I really didn't know what to do or say, but I just listened to Apps as she retraced bits of memories shared with N and I just let her cry. The healing, I know, is going to take a while. 

She bought us a bottle of Mudshake each and I just let her talk and cry and drink and smoke. Sometimes that's all you really are capable of doing. To just be there. 

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Ending the morning with another cup of tea.