chrisfel.

Thursday, September 01, 2011

I am a happy loner.

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” -Jodi Picoult

It's good to just be sometimes: on your own, alone with your thoughts; alone with God. Yesterday was a reminder of how wonderful solitude can be. I do enjoy it, contrary to the quote above. But yes, what is the point of blending into the world? The world, sometimes, can be a very disappointing place to be in.

I am disappointed with myself. I have failed God so many times in the past few weeks. I wanted to belong, to be part of the world, but I realize now that I am either for the world or for Him. It really is a difficult battle, especially when one is surrounded with so much worldly influence: music, TV, the Internet, people. I need to be more vigilant of my actions and of my thoughts, lest I lose my place up there.

Yesterday. Yesterday was a lot of help. I meditated and reflected and just spoke to God a lot. I want to always be reminded of who He is in my life (hence the marker tats) and how I should worship Him in all that I do. After all, worship is a lifestyle.

Just as it is expressed in Cory Copeland's blog:

Honestly, it comes down to each of us making a choice: we can choose to be a disciple, a product of a world that’s vile and villainous, or we can choose to be a disciple, an example of a God who is good and holy in everything He does and thinks. Which choice reflects what we really wish to be? Which choice provides a satisfaction that simply cannot be matched? Which choice is in our best interest today, tomorrow and forever? Each of us knows which option to choose. The answer lies within our inherent salvation. It’s just up to us to accept it and do as we should.

I haven't been reflecting so much good in the past weeks; this I know. Though I am aware that I err day to day, I have also come to realize how much worse I have become in the past few weeks alone. I need to change this. I need to be clear and stand up stronger with what I believe in. I just hope to God there wouldn't be any more distractions along the way. I drifted away for a bit, but now I'm back, Lord. Help me get by each day. Please.

I want to surrender for good
I know that I need you
And I don't want to keep living life alone
So take my heart and make it new, make it true
And make it like You
Take my hands, I lift them high
They’re Yours not mine to do
Do what You will
I feel like a blind man in you sight
I know that I'm wicked in Your eyes
So wash me and make me shine like the sun
I want to tell everyone that You're the only one
(Desperation Band - Ready Now)

Yesterday's big lesson: The absence of man has brought me in the presence of Christ. I need more alone time with Him. And oh, stop trying to fit into the world. I do not own my life anyway; God does. And I can't be more thankful for that. :)

"When I say… “I am a Christian”, I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin’.” I’m whispering “I was lost, now I’m found and forgiven.” When I say… “I am a Christian”, I don’t speak of this with pride. I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide. When I say… “I am a Christian”, I’m not trying to be strong. I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on. When I say… “I am a Christian”, I’m not bragging of success. I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess. When I say… “I am a Christian”, I’m not claiming to be perfect, my flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it. When I say… “I am a Christian”, I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name. When I say… “I am a Christian”, I’m not holier than thou, I’m just a simple sinner who received God’s good grace, somehow." -Maya Angelou

In the same light, I think I would much prefer to be The Good Girl (I swear, Cory Copeland blogs in such a timely manner!). I don't care how boring I become to some people, but I would like to live in such a manner to be worthy of others' respect and love. Good girl it is. Again. (Dear God, I swear, I will try my best. For You.) ^_^

Alone...with God. :)


*I don't think I think enough.* tumblr instagram previous posts home	Thursday, September 01, 2011 I am a happy loner. “Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” -Jodi Picoult It's good to just be sometimes: on your own, alone with your thoughts; alone with God. Yesterday was a reminder of how wonderful solitude can be. I do enjoy it, contrary to the quote above. But yes, what is the point of blending into the world? The world, sometimes, can be a very disappointing place to be in. I am disappointed with myself. I have failed God so many times in the past few weeks. I wanted to belong, to be part of the world, but I realize now that I am either for the world or for Him. It really is a difficult battle, especially when one is surrounded with so much worldly influence: music, TV, the Internet, people. I need to be more vigilant of my actions and of my thoughts, lest I lose my place up there. Yesterday. Yesterday was a lot of help. I meditated and reflected and just spoke to God a lot. I want to always be reminded of who He is in my life (hence the marker tats) and how I should worship Him in all that I do. After all, worship is a lifestyle. Just as it is expressed in Cory Copeland's blog: Honestly, it comes down to each of us making a choice: we can choose to be a disciple, a product of a world that’s vile and villainous, or we can choose to be a disciple, an example of a God who is good and holy in everything He does and thinks. Which choice reflects what we really wish to be? Which choice provides a satisfaction that simply cannot be matched? Which choice is in our best interest today, tomorrow and forever? Each of us knows which option to choose. The answer lies within our inherent salvation. It’s just up to us to accept it and do as we should. I haven't been reflecting so much good in the past weeks; this I know. Though I am aware that I err day to day, I have also come to realize how much worse I have become in the past few weeks alone. I need to change this. I need to be clear and stand up stronger with what I believe in. I just hope to God there wouldn't be any more distractions along the way. I drifted away for a bit, but now I'm back, Lord. Help me get by each day. Please. I want to surrender for good I know that I need you And I don't want to keep living life alone So take my heart and make it new, make it true And make it like You Take my hands, I lift them high They’re Yours not mine to do Do what You will I feel like a blind man in you sight I know that I'm wicked in Your eyes So wash me and make me shine like the sun I want to tell everyone that You're the only one (Desperation Band - Ready Now) Yesterday's big lesson: The absence of man has brought me in the presence of Christ. I need more alone time with Him. And oh, stop trying to fit into the world. I do not own my life anyway; God does. And I can't be more thankful for that. :) "When I say… “I am a Christian”, I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin’.” I’m whispering “I was lost, now I’m found and forgiven.” When I say… “I am a Christian”, I don’t speak of this with pride. I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide. When I say… “I am a Christian”, I’m not trying to be strong. I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on. When I say… “I am a Christian”, I’m not bragging of success. I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess. When I say… “I am a Christian”, I’m not claiming to be perfect, my flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it. When I say… “I am a Christian”, I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name. When I say… “I am a Christian”, I’m not holier than thou, I’m just a simple sinner who received God’s good grace, somehow." -Maya Angelou -- In the same light, I think I would much prefer to be The Good Girl (I swear, Cory Copeland blogs in such a timely manner!). I don't care how boring I become to some people, but I would like to live in such a manner to be worthy of others' respect and love. Good girl it is. Again. (Dear God, I swear, I will try my best. For You.) ^_^ Alone...with God. :) chrisfel at 02:20 << Home