The big day finally arrived. Last Saturday, we drove Richie to the airport. My mom had clients as well, so we were all busy at the airport. I felt a bit like her assistant when I met her clients and while I explained to my Inang (mother's mother -- who had come all the way from Ilocos just to see my brother off! <3) what was going on with them. Haha. Anyway, thank goodness for connections, both my parents were able to get airport passes so they were able to accompany Richie inside the airport to check him in (along with mother's clients) and all that jazz. Everyone cried, as expected. I love airports. (Because of Nanay's business, we have always spent a lot of time at airports here and in Hawaii. And during our personal travels, of course. So I have grown to love it.) I love the people at airports for each person has a story or two to tell. There's just an overwhelming flow of emotions of happiness and sadness in airports, where people either say hello or goodbye, which I think is beautiful. (Plus! I love love love seeing pilots! *swoon* Hahaha!)

It's been about 36 hours since Richie's plane took off for Hawaii. He took a direct flight, via PAL, so he was basically in the air for just ten hours. And in the last thirty-six hours, the people in this household have been very emotional. Emo family is emo.

Jy and Nates, Richie's closest friends (from church), slept over Friday evening, just like the old times. While they were asleep in the living room (Jy had just come from work, Nates from school, Richie exhausted from all the last-minute errands & packing), I was on the computer until 5am, taking down notes for Richie. I wrote a short letter for him as well. It's that big sister instinct, I suppose. I had to list down tons of reminders for him as well as tasks for him to do when he lands on the island (i.e., open a bank account, get a state ID, purchase a SIM card, etc). I'm the type of sister who goes, "Ako na gagawa nyan for you." But apparently, I can't do that anymore since we're literally on different continents. Time for Kid Brother to learn to do things on his own...but that won't stop me from helping him out in any way I can. Thank God for the Internet!

Up until last night, Sunday, my parents' eyes were still puffed up from all the crying. TT_TT Flying back to Hawaii was what Richie wanted and what my parents thought to be the best, in order for him to learn to be independent. But it doesn't mean it gets less sad.

Pops has been posting things on Facebook, which have made me cry right off the bat (what with me having "balat sibuyas" and all, haha). I think it's really amazing how my Tatay has been showing his emotions lately. He's a pretty tough guy, but he's been showing a lot more of his soft side lately. I love him even more for it. :)

And Nanay...Nanay just cries every now and then. I think I've acquired my love for crying from her. LOL. But for real, once in a while, I find myself fighting tears back when the truth of how my brother  is thousands of miles away from us all sinks in. Well, everyone has been having their moments in the house. Like how my Pops just froze in the middle of lunch and cried...which made my Nanay cry...which made me cry. We're really so emotional, but it can't be helped. Bitok seems like a sou-less robot (haha!), but as I was talking to him earlier in the evening, he finally admitted that he gets sad and that he cries off on his own. He's quite the best at concealing his emotions. (I also thought it was super sweet that he referred to Richie as 'kuya' in one of his Facebook comments. He never calls him kuya; it's always just been 'Richie'.)

But anyway, yesterday afternoon, my parents managed to speak to Richie on the phone (when they first called he was asleep, tired from the flight). We also managed to chat online and as he was telling me what was up with him (which wasn't much, really, because he did just arrive!), I was feeling more confident with my brother being off on his own. :) Mother has definitely been burning up the phone lines, talking to relatives in Hawaii and chatting up with Tita Shan from Canada -- all concerns focused on Richie, of course. God is amazing! He's bringing such wonderful people in our lives, in Richie's life, to help out in any way they can. There have been so much love from everyone across the globe, really, and we couldn't be more thankful. Hopefully this will put my parents at ease to lessen their sadness. Mine, too. :)

I have sent Richie e-mail #2 a while ago. I want to be able to keep him updated as much as possible so he won't feel too far from us. I've been telling him little details within our day, like how Bitok and I drove to SM and failed to park in that one, single spot because the other cars who were waiting in front of me and behind me pressured me. So I backed out of the spot and drove to a far-off area and parked there instead. And how the Laughing Lady came over in the morning, which made all of us laugh for quite a while. I also told him about the dead cat that ended up being in front of our house. I hope telling him these things help him not to feel so far. Really, thank God for the Internet!

A good friend has mentioned this to me a few times in the past: Happiness is a choice, not an emotion. (I've read this a lot on Tumblr as well.) I think it is time to choose happiness more than ever now. Despite having immense love for misery (I know, how emo!), which can be draining at times, I think it would only be fair to fill myself with more happiness. After Richie left, I have had my moments of sadness, that's for sure, but I realized I have overcome those moments with thoughts of being excited for Richie's new life journey. Just like that, the lump in my throat dissipates and tears don't even make it out of my tear ducts. Haha. :P

But see, happiness wouldn't exist if sadness didn't. I just think I need to balance my emotions better. It's okay to be sad, but it's even better to be happy. (I know this, but I guess I just don't apply it enough in my life.) I miss my brother so much, but I'm finding myself to be excited for him more than anything. Besides, sulking about how much I miss him won't help; what he needs is encouragement and confidence to get through on his own. Happiness, reign in me. ^_^