Fateful Faithful Friday

Some days will not be easy to forget. Such was this fateful, faithful Friday. I don't know if things would have been different had the circumstance been, well, different.

To start things off, my blood was already boiling with annoyance because I had come in for work 2 minutes late, which could have been avoided, really, if if weren't for Maynilad (whose roadwork seems to be taking just about forever to complete, thus causing extreme traffic on main roads), the (what seemed like thousands of) jeepneys that didn't need to be on the road (and might I add, some of which were a threat to public safety), and the slow shuttle driver (going at what must have been like 20kph!). Oh, and myself, who should have left the house at a much earlier time.


So I get to the office already raging with annoyance, no thanks to the excruciating commute to work. Signed onto Tumblr where I felt I could let some steam off by blogging about things that bothered me with regards to my commute. And then BAM! Of all images that could possibly pop up on my computer screen, it had to be an animated explicit image! From a friend's Tumblr. I love my friends, I swear, but there are some things that just cannot be tolerated.


Picture this: one moment you see awesome verses from the Bible, inspirational things with regards to God...and the next several posts consist of worldly images and words (okay, fine, they're all about sex). So of course I am outraged by this. It's not just the inconsistency of her posts, but the fact that she's spreading things that are Godly and things that are of the world. My point is, either spread the Gospel or not. And if you do spread the Word of God, then do not tarnish it by including extremely disturbing images. (The funny things, some curse words, offensive jokes -- sure I can handle them.) I mean, what if someone found her blog to be so inspiring...but would see such un-inspiring images come out every now and then? Would she have led that person to the Lord or to worldly matters? It's a big deal to me because she wasn't only scarring her own image, but she's also (and I say this from my heart) hurting God with what she's doing. How can anyone disrespect God in such a manner? She could have kept the post in private, for her own viewing pleasure or well, she didn't need to post it for everyone else to see. Again, you're either for God or not.

So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth. Revelation 3:16

I don't want God to "spit her out of my mouth" (of course I am in NO position to determine what might happen), but one thing is for sure: I want her to have Eternal Life with Jesus Christ. I just hope that she understands the implications of her coarse actions. I'm not one to control her life (I don't want to do that at all as I want her to learn from her own), but since I care for her and I love her, I want to help correct some things in order to get her onto a better path.


Unfortunately, she seemed to have misunderstood my sentiments and anger took over her instead. She lashed out on me through her posts with really, really hurtful words. I shouldn't have been affected because I knew she was missing my point and that I know for a fact that she's one of the most stubborn people I have come across, but you know what? I was affected. I must have cried for a good two hours in the office and repeatedly questioned myself if I were being selfish by wanting her to do things better, to get rid of some things that would deter her from becoming a better person. Most of all, I don't think she even considered me a friend because somehow a friend wouldn't say such hurtful things. How could she accuse me of judging her or belittling her if all I really said was that I was disappointed and frustrated with some peoples' actions. I knew her mind was clouded with anger and she must have said those words without thinking, but I, too, am human and felt such excruciating pain in my heart that I had to cry it out. Clearly, she does not value me as a person nor a friend of worth.

I talked to Jeff about it for a while time and he mentioned about how I love my friends too much...even to the point of being stupid for loving them despite such circumstances. Clearly, that "fight" was not the first of its kind. But this was a big issue to me: I was totally offended and insulted with her actions because this time it involved the God I love so much. The God I love more than my life. The God who is my life. I am sad that she doesn't have the same relationship as I do with God, but I wish she did. Then she would understand my sentiments. I cried to her, even begged her to respect God, but as I spoke to her, she just looked right into her monitor with a straight, stern face, like I wasn't even there. I told her she could hate me all she wants, but asked that she respect God. Was that too much to ask? Am I being too much?


The issue seemed really shallow at first, but then I also began to realize how much I value God in my life. How much I love Him. How I would defend His name to get the respect, the praise, the exaltation that He deserves. Again, I wish she had the same relationship as I do with God to see how awesome He works in each of our lives.

It might sound bizarre, but I can tolerate and respect those who are atheists more than I can put up with those who are lukewarm. I'm not expecting people who know God to be perfect because even I am still so far from being one myself. And I will never be one. And I know for a fact that I will die a sinner, because not one of us is righteous. Just Jesus Christ Himself. I know my lifestyle does not exactly portray one who is all-angelic (or what others perceive Christians to be), but I am trying so hard. I know what's right from wrong and I try to make the right decisions in life, but I still err. I still sin, I still make mistakes. But the good news is that you can repent. Because Jesus loves us no matter what. And we should do our best to love Him back by bringing Him honor and glory in our day-to-day life through our actions, words and yes, even thoughts.


Did she bring Him honor by posting Biblical things on her website? Yes, if it were from the heart.

Did she bring Him honor by posting disturbing images on her website, in between God's awesome words? I'm going with a no on this one.

So what am I going to do now? Ignore her for the rest of my life? End the friendship? No and no. I'm going to continue to love and care for her even if she hates me or is angry at me. I'm going to continue being here for her if she needs a friend, even if I am her last resort. (Normally, the "old" me would have been indifferent, but since I want to be a better Christian, to continue to grow in Christ, I will continue to do what I know is right, what Jesus has taught me: to love.)

No lie, it is such a great challenge for me. But I know I can surpass this. After all, I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength. :)