So I was walking right out of our gate and as I look up, there he was. Walking towards my direction. "Holy shit it's him" was the first thing that came to mind and I felt like everything within me stopped functioning. I was behind a big pair of sunglasses, yet he was staring right at me. Into me. Through me. I wanted to do two things: 1: melt away & die, and 2: run up to him, if only to feel his skin.

Instead, I walked out of the gate and went straight along as he walked behind me. What was I supposed to say? Hi? Go, "hey, man, long time no see; how are you?" Fuck that. Fuck bringing myself out there for him. I've got to let him go.

I realized that I haven't really gotten over him completely. All my senses failed me as I kept on walking. I couldn't breathe properly and there was nothing but pain in my chest. Tricycles passed me by and I couldn't even find the power in me to stop one of them so I could get on. At that moment I didn't give a damn about anything else; didn't care if I was going to get hit by car as I crossed the street.

I cried in the tricycle and I was holding back the tears during my commute to work. The scene played over and again in my head and I was sure of only one thing: it would never happen again.

A part of me wished I'd done something differently, something nicer. A smile or a small wave, perhaps. It would have made a hell of a big difference but there is also that other part of me: the part that keeps feeling all the indescribable pain that tells me I have done the right thing by ignoring his presence. I have got to let him go.

Because in the end, nothing will have come out of all of this.