Two minutes to three in the morning and I'm still up. No, I'm not doing work (thank goodness!) because I've left all of that in the office. My schedule is SO MUCH BETTER now, so I don't have to stress myself out with doing 'homework' -- in its literal sense.


My mind's been wandering off way too much for the past few weeks. Of course one of my greatest concerns is the mind-boggling thought that goes: Where will you be five years from now?


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Let's not kid ourselves anymore. We're all getting older by the minute and responsibilities are piling up like the laundry (haha, what!) and things and circumstances are always, always changing. I know for sure that I can never achieve the security that we all long for at my current job. I'm not saying I'll be leaving it soon --- BUT I do need to make more 'stable' plans for the future. Perhaps a real career will do. Though I'm not so sure if I'm ready to work for the government (which is the best option I can think of at the moment). Then again there are NGOs but that's kind of like working for the governement sans the corruption part. My point is: I want a job that will enable me to SERVE people. (Being a lawyer is still a far-away dream at the moment. Sigh.)

Somewhere along the way, I need to get back on track. To do what I'm supposed to do, what I was called to do. If that makes sense.

I know that I'm 'helping' others out in a sense by teaching Koreans how to communicate with the rest of the world through the use of today's universal language, English. It's a great job and I honestly enjoy it 99% of the time...but I just don't feel that it's my real line. Araso? (들어서 알고 있다?)


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And then there's the failed love life. Wait, failed? More like nonexistent! I don't know what I'm doing wrong, if I'm doing anything at all. Haha. I don't know why exactly, but it's been bothering me a whole lot lately. I think I'm on the verge of convincing myself (God forbid) that I'll grow to be an old, lonely, spinster of a woman.

Am I in the wrong country? I mean, hell, I was doing fine when I was still in Hawaii. So what went wrong? At the moment, I'm in the process of turning my wardrobe around and I've been spending more time (than ever!) in front of the mirror doing my makeup. You must admit, you need to work on yourself as well in order to attract the opposite sex surrounding you. HAHAHA! Or well..the answer could very well be that I am a workaholic and I don't spend enough time socializing. (Does that word even belong in my vocabulary?)

I know I should stick with the saying, Patience is a virtue..but when you've been patient for nearly 23 years, I don't know if a virtue can still come out of it. The only reason why I've been so so so patient (it's so damn easy to be a slut/loser these days) is because I know that God has created *someone* for me. Whoever he is, I'm willing to wait because he must be really, really, really good for me. The Perfect Choice. :)

But that doesn't mean I'm gonna go on lying and put on a smiley face until he sways my way. I'm not going to lie: it gets depressing at times and it makes me feel all bitter inside whenever I see happy couples surrounding me every single day. Geez, am I ugly? Am I off the bat a weird person? Am I so unlikeable? Sigh. Whatever..I should take the problem in a more serious manner if no changes in this area of life has ocurred within five years. HAHA!


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A couple of weekends ago (I don't remember when exactly), I went outside after dinner to give something to the dog. I was cleaning my room in a very intense manner (!! no kidding !!) and I hella looked like shit, so I didn't mind going outside since I was just going to give something to the dog anyway. THEN who comes walking towards our store, without a t-shirt on? Pilot! Pilot of all the people who would drop by our store in such a time! The pilot that I'm head over heels for who probably knows deep within himself that I feel something for him.

So he comes to the store and there I go, looking like crap. (I couldn't exactly yell to the house and ask someone else to attend to him because he was just a few feet away from me..) And because I looked like crap, I wanted to get out of his presence as fast as I could. So we didn't get to have a small talk, the way we usually do when we "catch" each other at very, very, very rare instances! (Because our schedules are just plain whacked.) UGH!!!!!! I believe I seemed like a total bitch at that time because I wasn't even smiling. UGH!!!!! *kicks self*

I swear I just have a way of ruining good possibilities and opportunities that life throws at me. Sucks!

Pilot, if you're reading this (and I wish you could..), I like you. A lot. And I want to get to know you better because you seem like a really interesting person to hang out with. Plus, you're really good looking.

God, I wish, somehow, that he can find his way to my blog and read the above statements. Haha! I even wrote a note for him on my tumblr. LOL! :D


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I no longer have a crush on the big distraction at work. Haha. I recently found out that his morality (if he has any left) is on its way to the drain. I think, because I'm not 100% certain. But whatever the case, I just realized that I have no reason to be into him. Especially after learning that he's a man-whore. HAHAHA! Well, he still makes me smile. But it's a whole different feeling now. :)


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Jenny, Juno. This is the first Korean movie (that's NOT a horror/gore flick) that I've seen. It's just extremely cute and beautiful. (I hate how the Americans ripped the story off and made Juno. ARGH!) Fact: Jenny, Juno was released in Korea in February 2005 and Juno was released in December 2007. Well anyway, it's a must-see. I totally fell in love with it. I'm looking forward to watching more Korean movies, like My Sassy Girl. Haha! It's so old, I know. But the lady who sold me the DVD at 168 last Saturday picked a DVD with a big collection of Korean movies in it! (And I told her I only wanted Jenny, Juno!!) I believe it has about 20+ Korean love stories and such included..HAHA! I'm going to need a whole weekend to go through them all. It's so much fun to be a bum. Sometimes! ^_^


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Oh, right. It's a weekday. I should sleep now as it is exactly 3:56AM. HAHA! Thank goodness for work at 2pm!! :)