On this site, I came across these definitions:

- have confidence or faith in
- allow without fear
- the trait of believing in the honesty and reliability of others
- faith: complete confidence in a person or plan etc
- confidence: a trustful relationship

Truth be told, if there was something in life that I regret, it's that I've trusted a few wrong people. I don't understand how others can easily betray you when you've shared a part of yourself, a portion of your life, with that certain someone.

To betray means to:

- reveal unintentionally
- disappoint, prove undependable to; abandon, forsake
- give away information about somebody
- cause someone to believe an untruth

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The reason for my being timid and quiet is that I find it difficult to trust people. I've had my share of pain and betrayal, so I've been very selective of the people whom I'd tell my secrets to. But it disappoints me so much to know that there have been a few out there whom I trusted -- but later prove to be unworthy of my trust. It hurts, it's disappointing, and at times it has even made me so angry. But of course I refuse to let my guard down and defeat me. Instead, I have stretched my patience and tried my best to understand others' motives and intentions in spreading rumors and gossiping and being hypocrites. But most of all, I feel very disappointed and sad that such people in my life can attribute to little miseries in my world. Not just unto me, but unto the people I love and care for as well.

I don't know why it's so difficult for others to walk in their true form. We all have our good and bad sides; no one is perfect. But I suppose I just can't stand people who can't be dead-honest about how they feel. If I have certain problems about the friends (or anyone in my crowd, for that matter), I tend to be honest. I can't stand feeling like a big fake. In fact, there has been more than one instance wherein I'd nearly choke and hyperventilate simply because I need to get the truth off my chest, even if it means hurting someone else. But isn't it better to be clear and honest rather than to go on pretending that everything's just fine? I despise dishonest people.

I'm trying my best to detach myself from such people. I thought I'd carefully chosen them to become a part of my life, to help me become someone better. But I was wrong. Perhaps, just as God wants to challenge us to strengthen us, He has also allowed these people to come into my life for me to learn what it means to be truthful. Maybe He's giving me examples of what dishonest people are like so that I may not become one of them. Perhaps He's doing this so that I may open my eyes much wider to the reality that surrounds me. Whatever the reason, I'm still grateful that I'm learning a thing or two about life along the way. I'm not in the position to judge or to curse anyone, so I leave everything into His hands. :)

Even greater still, I've realized that I'm still waaaay better off if I trust God Himself and seek comfort from him. :)