breathe in, breathe out.

It's like being close to holding on to it, but it slips away -- in just a blink of an eye.


Have you ever had the feeling wherein you've been patient for months? Years? And one day you wake up and find that it's all gone. Maybe not gone, exactly, but has gone farther away from you. It's within your grasp, but within the millisecond of a blink of an eye, it's floated much farther from where it was previously positioned.


I keep a wish list, to remind me of the dreams of (and well, material things) that I would like to have or to achieve in the future. And when I've had them, it's always a good feeling to cross one thing off your list. Because you know that you've accomplished something. It's like, one dream down, a million more to go.

But now I feel this need to crumple my wish list and forget about all of it. The bigger things in life just seem too difficult to reach. No matter how far you strain your arms to hold something that you've been longing to have for months, years -- it simply becomes out of your reach.

I am sad, I am upset. But I hold on to the notion that something bigger, something better will come my way. There's no such thing as a coincidence, after all.

God has taught me that.