<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/37203247?origin\x3dhttps://chrisfel.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
chrisfel eliza

I don't think I think enough.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
so out of it.

I really think I'm losing it.
More than that, I'm a loser.

Isn't life just the best thing ever?

---

Last night was just stupid.

At 6pm.
Guy: Alors, tu va être ici jusqu'à neuf heures?
Girl: Oui. *j'ai fait un visage tristesse* Je n'aime pas ici.
Guy: Je sors à neuf heures et demie. Si tu m'attends, je vais marcher avec toi.
Girl: Ah, tu vas rentre à Taft aussi?
Guy: Oui. Tu m'attends, d'accord?
Girl: *je souris*

At 9pm.
Guy: *entrer la salle* Tu vas partir maintenant?
Girl: *je souris et je fixe mon sac*
Guy: D'accord, salut!


See how stupid that whole shizzle was? (I'm sorry it's in French -- the dude might *somehow* come across my blog.) Anyway, that was pathetic. Was it me? Was it him? I don't know.

It's stupid.

I almost cried while waiting for a bus.

---

So I've decided to be "on duty" right now. Class ended at 12, friends went to Rockwell (I just didn't want to go, end of story). Fake smiles are stupid. I don't wanna be stupid.

Class at 4pm until 5. Then home. I can't wait to SLEEP.

---

So anyway, yes, I work at the Department of Foreign Affairs. Princess and I have accomplished what so far? 50? 60 hours? Not too shabby for a week and half sitting around the offices. It's great they put us in the same department (United Nations and Other International Organizations - UNIO) -- at least we're just a few steps away from each other when we have a funny story to tell. Or if we just need a good laugh. Princess is an excellent laughing buddy. (Bert too, of course, but he's on the 7th floor -American Affairs- while we're on the 10th.) So yeah. And plus, working for Mr. Servigon is just fantastic. Haha. He makes me do all sorts of things because there's really not much to do around. And I'm moving to and fro two offices. Haha.

Me: Sir, tapos na po yung pinapagawa nyo sakin. Ano pa po ang gagawin ko?
Sir: Ah, teka lang. Pagiisipan ko pa! *laughs*

Yeah, it's so much fun. Plus, the people in our department are really nice. =) I looove the photocopier! Haha. That machine is so cool! And I hate answering the telephone. And filing shitload of paper makes me dizzy! Haha. But reading a bunch of CONFIDENTIAL items makes it all cool.

Lunch is spent at the cafeteria (haha!) with the rest of the Benildeans. Errol, Aika, Joan, Robin..and whoever else sits on the table. Of course, Cess, Bert, and I are pretty much inseparable. So that's a given.

So yeah. It's not too bad at the DFA. All good.

---

I just want to cry my heart out.

Life gets lonelier each day. I see one too many of them.

I feel so old.
And so alone in the world.

---

I feel so tired. I've been living life --for the past two weeks-- like a real employee of sort. DFA from 9-5 or 530pm (it's really supposed to be 8-5, but I can't get myself out of bed early). Then school (AKIC!!) for my nightly Student Assistant duty from 6 to 9pm. Oh yes. I'm so preoccupied with life. I leave the house at 730 or 8 in the morning and I get home at 1030pm. Or 11pm if it's traffic or if there's a long line at the tricycle place.

Wonderful, n'est-ce pas?

Then there's Saturday class at 9am. Duty from 12-4 if I feel like it (like today), then class at 4.

I don't have time for myself anymore. Well, I do. But it's obviously not enough.

---

So that's the life of me these days.
Exhausted like mad, but still carrying on. =)

I love life.
You should too.

---

The sky was dark this morning
Not a bird in the trees
And silence hung suspicious and anxious
Like a blanket covered scream

And you were gone
You were not there for me
And I cursed the sky and begged the sun to
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I cant find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down

All my friends are searching
Quiet, desperately
Look into their eyes and you'll see the faithless crying
Save me, save me, save me

And what are they to feel
And who are they to be
And what am I to do with, do with me, but let the sun
Fall all over me
That's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I cant find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down

Until my eyes cry out
'Til my head is free from doubt
'Til my lungs sigh right out
'Til i'm wiser

Let the sun
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If i can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down

chrisfel at 14:40