I can't believe I'm on this stumbling block once again. It's very disappointing because I was really on the road to recovery in the past seven months. I don't know what led me to this disastrous turn yet again, but all I know is that I'm bored. And when I'm bored, I do a little bit of tweaking here and there and the next thing you know, there is full-blown entertainment right before my eyes...and under my control.

I need to stop being a fool and channel all this energy into something else, like exercise! I think that's it. Perhaps if I return to exercising, I'll get my act together again.

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It's nice to talk to a few people about it; it's nice to be reminded of how crude life was in the past. So crude, in fact, that I swore I would never involve myself in it again.

But who am I kidding? Playing with fire is such a thrill.