This morning I woke up before 11am, despite having gone to bed at about 4:30am, with a smile on my face. I must have slept happy.

Had my lamp not "exploded" I probably would have stayed up until I really finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's one of those books that you just can't put down. So I decided I'd tie a curtain up and let the sun in my room and just read. I awoke a bit early, but I didn't get up at all and I just stayed in bed, reading.

It's like that when I fall in love with a book...or with a character in the book. I have a hard time putting the book down; this book, especially. All I wanted to do all throughout the week was have some time to myself so I could read. I think I was able to accomplish that despite having a rather busy work schedule. I finally finished reading the book earlier this evening.

When I was on the last page, I didn't know whether to slow down my reading pace or to read a bit quicker than usual. Half of me wanted to get to the ending, but the other half of me didn't want the story to finish. But I read the last word, closed the book, smiled to myself and let out a very loud sigh. I hugged the book like I was hugging Charlie (the character whom I have fallen in love with) and just shook my head with a huge smile painted across my face. It was such a good read. So simple, but so good. The music and film reference to the 90's made it even better. AND THE BOOKS MENTIONED! WOW. And I could relate to so many characters in it, like we had similar personality profiles.

Books are wonderful and I'm so happy I have turned my relationship back on with them. I think I'm going to make it a point to purchase at least two books in a month. I really wish there were public libraries in the Philippines. (Then again, I'd be happy to replace the clutter on my shelves with books.)

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Some favorite lines from Stephen Chbosky's The Perks of Being a Wallflower:

So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

"Do you always think this much, Charlie?"
"Is that bad?" I just wanted someone to tell me the truth.
"Not necessarily. It's just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life."
"Is that bad?"
"Yes."

"I think I participate, though. Don't you think I am?"
"Well, are you dancing at these dances?"

"I'm not a very good dancer."

"Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve."

And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

When I was driving home, I just thought about the word "special." ... I was very grateful to have heard it again. Because I guess we all forget sometimes. And I think everyone is special in their own way. I really do.

She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time.

"It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it, too. I want them to be able to do whatever they want around me. And if they do something I don't like, I'll tell them."

"It's great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when someone doesn't need a shoulder. What if they need the arms or something like that? You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things."

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Okay, well, the entire book is amazing. The kind of amazing that makes you warm inside. It is just altogether poignant, but in a good way.

Next time I read, I think I'll keep a small notebook and a pen close to me so I can write all my favorite lines in it. Or the page numbers, at least. I'm still considering whether or not it is okay to write in the book itself. Reminds me of the time I first wrote side notes and highlighted verses in my Bible. It was okay to do so because it was my very own copy, but then I felt bad because it seemed like I was ruining the pages of the book. Then again, I liked the feeling of having the freedom to just write side notes and highlight lines. So, I don't know.

I cannot wait to go book shopping with Richie tomorrow. I'll be buying him books to read if ever he's just stuck at home, doing nothing, when he's in Hawaii. I bought another copy of The Perks of Being a Wallflower for him yesterday and he says he'll read it when he gets on the plane on Saturday. I think it'll be great because he won't be able to put it down and hopefully it would help him not dwell on the thought(s) of being away from us. Because as I was reading, I kind of forgot how he will soon be going away.

Yes, we totally need more books. I just wish Bitok would be more open with reading. (He says he reads comic books and that was enough for him. Le sigh.) It would be nice to discuss books instead of twisted movie plots and cinematography and camera angles with Bitok. Because I don't really read comic books and Richie does so they discuss such things, I guess.

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Right now I'm thinking about how tragic it is that No Doubt has had to break up and how I bought their CD, Rock Steady, when it first came out, in Hawaii, for $18, lent it to a friend here in the Philippines and never got it back. Had I known it was going to be their last-ever album, I probably would have taken better care of it. Downloading online is just not the same.

Yes, I'm listening to No Doubt as I type and thinking about revamping my music list on my iPod yet again. My brothers are always telling me about how I listen to the same thing over and over again and that I need to listen to something new. They're probably telling me to get with the times and listen to other mainstream stuff, like they do. Maybe I will.

I really have way too much thoughts running through my head all the time.