supid puso. :c

Just stop it.
Stop believing in 11:11.
End the crazy madness of "this is it" moments.
Pull your eyes away from the sky at night; shooting stars are false hopes -- they won't make wishes come true.

Just. Stop. It.


Realize that the long wait has only begun. What did you think, that stepping into your adolescent years marked the first stages of waiting? Think again. As if destiny cares for your double-digit age, not to mention it begins with the number 2. Can life get more pathetic?

Okay, so that certain part of life didn't literally cast you away to Loserville Island. Luckily (unfortunately?), there were a few out there who found you interesting enough that they made special space for you in their lives -- with little gestures of flowers/stuffed toys/chocolate-giving. A ride home too, if you will. So nothing's really wrong. Right?

Late bloomer, social life-lacking, feminist ideas that scream "you're complete on your own!" -- which is it? "But look at her, she's completely fine!" your friends just beam (with pride, like they're super proud of you) when others whine to them about their singular status. "Yeah, who says you need someone to 'complete' you? You're 'complete' as it is. Duh." -- with matching rolling eyes and an air-filled girl power. 'Di ba, totoo naman? Why is everyone else making such a big deal out of it?

Because, on lunch breaks at the office, you are seated with friends who have one thing in common -- they all belong in a couple. Bite silently into your pear fruit as they chatter about their "coupled" lives. ("Yeah, we see each other everyday after work," says one. "Not us. We see each other just once a week these days," says the other.) And if they go on about it in front of you for quite a while (and the core is the only evidence left that you've had a pear for lunch), unravel your Kit Kat bars (emphasis on the plurality) and munch away happily. Chocolates (and other fatty food, for that matter) make things better. Nod in approval and quietly stand and walk toward the mini grocery for more. (Weren't you supposed to give the extra bars to your "bosses" upstairs? Shake the thought and become an evil-SLASH-selfish person. Hey, you're in need! They're perfectly coupled/married, they get regular salaries. You're single and giving up and a non-salary earning student trainee. Some have it tougher.)

Try not to fall into a slumber at your desk, back in the office. Thanks to your awesome girl friend for pretty much bringing her library into the office just so you could do something when the hours seem hazy. You've finished three books in less than a week, holding the fourth one in your hand. There goes the heavy lids pushing for shut down, the head slowly collapsing onto the table. Don't. Freaking. Sleep. Not in the office. Return to the interesting novel and read, dammit. Read! You kill the rest of the 'work day' in the office (that just needed to be stretched until 6pm) with that book in hand, halfway until the last page.

Greet all the elder office people with "Happy weekend po!" as you walk through the hall with two other trainees. All in smiles. Wait for a bus right outside the office building while talking to the other trainee. "So, why do you have go to school?" she's just curious. "Uhh..to work?" you reply with shame. "Work?" "Yeah. Uh, I'm a student assistant. Besides, going home at this hour would only entail tiresome traffic and stuff." "Yeah, since everyone else gets home at this hour. Ang sipag mo naman!" "Haha, 'di ah. Plus, nothing to do at home anyway. Why bother going home early?" "Me too! I'm only doing this OJT thing since I was getting bored at home." Agreed. But not completely.

Could convincing oneself get any lamer? Maybe if you said that enough outloud, you'd come to believing it yourself. Why "work" 'til 9pm at school anyway? Hardworking? You never considered yourself to be paired up with that adjective. Truth be told, it's because you have no social life. Much less that other life that begins with the letter "L" that everyone happily asks you about -- complete with grins stretched from ear to ear.

While your other friend has offered you a ride to school ("He's picking me up today!" she says happily. "He lives near the school. Why don't you just ride with us?"), you refuse to become the backseater-third-wheel person. "Ay, sige, I'm fine. I'll just take the bus. Thanks!"

The bus you hailed (hey, you were desperate to get on one -- it was getting late and no other buses came by!) seemed to be a carbon copy of an LRT/MRT car. The aisle filled with what seemed like a hundred people. Hold for your life on the TV holder by your head and pray to God that your skull won't split open when the bus driver pushed on the brakes, sending the standing passengers to sway like you were all on a little boat. Standing.

Run to the computer lab and rack your brains for things to do. Sign into your instant messenger with crossed fingers that there would be someone to chat with to get you through three hours of staring into the computer screen. Frown and wail (in your head, there's no need to make dramatic outrages) when you see that only one of your many friends are online. Even your cousin who seemed to be doing overtime work at their office nightly was not signed on. Shake your head in disbelief and think, "Buti pa siya, may social life. Kahit papano." And reassess your pathetic Friday night.

Sitting in front of a computer, wincing at the thought of doing something 'illegal' (like breaking through the school proxy to get onto MySpace & Friendster websites) -- because you've already mastered the process of enabling blocked websites.

Even high school kids have better social lives than you do.

No, wait, stop veering away from the main issue:
Even high school kids have love lives.